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Parenting

Ways To Light Up Life and Inspire Our Children

You are doing so many wonderful things in the world. Racing the clock. Instagramming like a boss. Keeping the home fires burning and bright. Nurturing delight in the everyday.

But sometimes you feel at odds:

  • How do we find what we love?
  • When do we pursue our interests?
  • What time commitment can we give our “own” learning?​
  • Where do we find inspiration when we get buried under the pressure of mothering?

You’re a little like me, I bet. A homeschool mom. A mom of littles or bigs. You are {a little} tired.

Grateful to be mothering, but… Perhaps, you, too, need time to reflect on your needs and {re}discover your interests? You need to renew and realign yourself.

Before we have children, our lives are usually ours for the taking; we make our own schedules. Make decisions based on our wants and needs. Time is ours to schedule as we like.

Sure, we may have a job or other commitments, but before motherhood, we have more time of our own and can decide what we want to pursue in our free time.

Not so in motherhood. And certainly not when we add in homeschool.

You can better serve your family and your homeschool when you are happy. You can find happiness when you find that which lights your fire.

What lights you up?

Ever feel lost in the dullness of the same old, same old? Waking up to take care of all the needs around you?

We lose ourselves and think we should sacrifice our own ideas and interests for those we love.

But that doesn’t make for a happy mom. And we want to be happy moms, don’t we?

  • What if you could blend those two seemingly opposed ideas?
  • What if we could serve the needs of our family as well as pursue our own interests?
  • AND what if doing so would benefit everyone?

You see, you can better serve your family and your homeschool when you are happy. You can find happiness when you find that which lights your fire.

We need to find our awesome and get fascinated. Because then we become {more} fascinating!

Your Attention, Please

Do you notice how we can seldom find time to concentrate on anything because a child finds us? And then, if you are anything like me, you have a few immediate feelings:

  1. Guilt: Uh-oh! I need to stop this to pay attention to them.
  2. Resentment: ARGH! Why can I never do anything for me?!?
  3. Putting it off: Oh, I’ll just wait until they are…in bed, pre-occupied, not sick, napping, independent…

If we wait for those moments-they never come. Our lives as mothers are not set up to be compartmentalized. We must BLEND our interests into our lives as mothers.

By showing our children what catches our fancy, what takes up our time, what we pay attention to; we are teaching them how to be interested and independent.

Read also: 7 Things Not To Do When You Feel Unappreciated

How Do Our Own Interests Build Better Homeschools?

Model being a fully alive and engaged adult so your children will know how to do it, too!

It gives our kids an invaluable model of healthy adulthood.

You are a gift to the world. You should share that with everyone. Especially your children.

Too many of us are unhappy. Or, if not unhappy, then tired and dulled, living lives without verve and brightness. Seeking out and growing in ideas and curating skills that enrich our lives makes us happier.

And our kids benefit.

You know what else it does?

  • Provides a model of adult engagement in something outside the realm of family. Your children will see a mom engaged in a life that is vast. This encourages them to seek out their own creative pursuits and fascinations.
  • Your kids will see you excited and happy and fulfilled. They’ll begin to understand that you are an interesting person…and while passionately focused on them, you have interests you love beyond that.
  • Lower your stress levels. A person engaged in creative ideas and activities can find flow. Flow is a state where time expands and you lose yourself. Finding flow is an essential path to well being.
  • Gives a sense of contribution to you when some days you feel like you don’t share anything beyond cleaning and child-care skills.
  • By building on our own interests, we share a vision of healthy self-care.

Tell Me How!

If you don’t know how to even begin, start with these small steps:

  1. Read a book because YOU want to. (Always my number one baby-step suggestion.)
  2. Practice doing less.
  3. Begin to pay attention to what pulls you. Get a list going in your bullet journal or planner.
  4. Seek out information on that interest using podcasts, YouTube, magazines, or social media.
  5. Share it! Talk to your kids about it! Let’s face it, we have lengthy conversations about Mindcraft and Shopkins with them…they can hear about our fashion finds or fascination with artisan breadmaking or seed collection and gardening! Or beekeeping, chicken care, watercolor, healthy eating, yoga, or bird identification. Or photography or nature journaling or book making or blogging or just curating a peaceful bedroom set up so you can sleep well.

Still Stuck?

Answer these questions and start journaling:

  • What are you so interested in that anytime you think of that something you get totally keyed up?
  • What topics of conversation or books or Facebook feeds do you never tire of?
  • If you were faced with an entire weekend free from your normal every day, what would you do?

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Where do we find inspiration when we get buried under the pressure of mothering?

As a mother of three children, I attempt to address their needs by making them breakfast. I prepare them meals. I drop them off at school.
I assist with schoolwork. I wipe away their tears. I do their laundry. I locate their shoes. I accompany them to their activities. I participate in their activities. I force them to take a shower.

I’m certain you do all of that and more. But do you ever feel like you’re so busy “doing” that you’re missing out on actually inspiring your children to realise their full potential? I understand how you feel. But it is in our daily lives that we inspire our children. We serve and inspire our children by infusing apparently basic duties with a loving attitude.

Mothers serve as role models for their children. We have a big influence on what our kids desire to do with their time! Our children will choose to go offline and experience the world with us if we demonstrate that we appreciate adventure and are motivated by the nature and others around us. In summary, if our children see us doing new things and discovering new skills, they will want to do the same!

Like our parents, we probably want our children to follow our lead, yet doing so inevitably leads to judgement. When they do something unusual, we tend to condemn or reprimand them without really listening to the circumstances. This causes them to be rationally afraid, and they are continuously trying to conceal things from us. There is no such thing as playing together. Kids will learn to respect you via games, and a bond will begin to build if you engage with them on their level. No matter how little time you have at home, strive to make time for these things as much as possible.

How to Make Life as a Mom Easier?

As parents, we must work many jobs in order to live the luxurious lives we wish. It isn’t always simple to cater for the house, take care of the kids, and keep up with other elements of life as a working mom, single mom, or stay-at-home mom, mostly because the duty of raising a child falls solely on our shoulders. So, what would make a mother’s life easier?

Many women wonder what they might do to make their mother’s life easier. Effective planning should result in a well-structured timetable that you can adhere to in order to restore order and sanity to your life. Make it a habit to simplify your objectives. It’s great to have a large goal, but make it a practise to break it down into bite-sized portions so you can really do it without losing your mind!

Social networking may be much more tiring than you would realise. There are several ways to use your phone’s timers and reminders to help you pop off and spend less time on them! Ask for help. There is no way you can achieve all the hard work on your own. When it comes to parenting children while working full-time, we all need assistance. One of your first tasks should be to establish a support network. This will look different for everyone based on your family relationships and social environment, but here are some individuals you may approach: your spouse, parents or in-laws, friends, and coworkers.

Do You Put Yourself first or do what’s best for your kids?

You are not alone if you believe that your spouse, children, and career come first. While all of those items are necessary, you won’t travel very far if your gas tank is empty. Self-care isn’t about being selfish; it’s about doing what you need to do to be healthy and happy. It might be even more difficult to prioritize oneself as a mother. Life becomes hectic, and the fight for self-care becomes all too apparent. Your time is precious, yet you never seem to have enough of it.

Being attentive is being present in the moment and assessing how you feel both physically and psychologically. If you are serious about your long-term health, you must be able to determine when you have reached your limitations and recognize when you are not feeling your best. First and foremost, individuals feel guilty and selfish because they have a misunderstanding of what the phrase “putting yourself first” entails. Putting yourself first does not imply that you are just concerned with yourself and neglect everyone else. This is not to say that other individuals are unimportant.

Women are conditioned our whole lives to perform the emotional work of others (particularly males); to control their emotions, to be a receptacle for their feelings, to say things carefully so as not to disturb. And this is OK for our children since we are trying to teach them how to accomplish these things on their own. However, it is work, and it may be exhausting. If you are asked to assist at an event, pick up an additional shift, or perform a ‘quick’ favor for a friend, pause for a second before saying yes. If you’re feeling exhausted, run-down, or have a few aches and pains, it’s time to say no.

Finally

We are the greatest example to our children of what it will look like to be a grown up.

Let this be an inspiration to you! Lifelong learning serves us best when we let go of any guilt we have and just get going. The world is fascinating and your kids need to see you get engaged in it!

AboutCarol

I am a homeschooling mom to three wild gorgeous daughters, as well as a loving wife to my Star Wars fan husband. Coffee, art, photography, TV, travel, and traveling keep me going. I have anxiety, but painting helps me get over it.My life might be somewhat hectic at times, but to me, chaos is happiness, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

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Kara Bout It