Think This, Not That: For Real

(Psst: This post is a day late. Sorry! Internet issues at the hotel.)

Sooo. I’m heading to the city of brotherly (sisterly?) love for the Healthy Living Summit! I am actually writing this in the Denver International Airport after catching a bus at 6:30 this morning. And there are definitely a ton of birds flying around inside Gate A. Um… I guess it’s just our Colorado nature-lovin’ ways? Anyway, I wanted to take this opportunity to 1) give you a better idea of who I really am, because you might only get a quick glimpse from my blog and 2) Get real and confess something. Honesty is one of my all-time highest values, and I love the response to all the other Think This, Not That posts. So let me be legit transparent here and over-share. Again.

Last night, I was doing my usual last-minute-everything before travel. This meant:
– I washed two shirts I probably won’t even wear. In the bathtub. While in my underwear.
– I chose to make a batch of all three kinds of GF (vegan) doughballs to give out at the conference instead of packing or sleeping.
– I was totally confused that people were planning outfits. Clearly, I have no fashion sensibilities.
– I ended up just doing most of the things I needed to at 6am anyway. While in my underwear.

1 Batch Double Dark Chocolate

1 Batch Cinnamon Raisin Coconut

1 Batch Dark Chocolate Chip

Surprisingly, none of these things are the confession I had in mind. I know, right? What must I have in mind if not everything ending with, “and I apparently I never wear clothing”? But I have a feeling some of you might relate to this. Despite being a reasonably confident person who likes her identity, certain things can set me off. Traveling to conferences filled with strangers is one of them. As I got ready for the HLS…

I started to question if there were other things I should have done (in or out of my underwear):
– Lose weight
– Get a haircut
– Wax my arms (my family calls me Chewbaca, just to give you a point of reference…)
– Buy trendy clothes (I shop Goodwill. Yep.)
– Change my laugh (read: have surgery to prevent snorting)
– Cancel my trip altogether

These are the kind of anxious and insecure moments that take me back. Way back. To my ED history and The Crazies that sometimes resurface. I usually respond to these hiccups pretty well (see here and here), but I knew I needed to be uber-intentional about dealing with these irrational ideas last night. Travel + The Crazies = Stressball of Foolishness. This sudden stream of negative self-talk was rooted in my fears that I won’t measure up to what a healthy living blogger is “supposed” to be. Welp, good thing I get to define that for myself : )

So. Here’s what I did to realign my thinking with reality:
– You are healthy. If you are not confident about how you look, it’s a problem with your self-perception, not your body. You are strong, fit, and just how you need to be.
– People will probably be able to handle your split ends. You’re growing your hair out for a reason. Stop being vain.
– Meh. Didn’t have time, and while you might be physically more comfortable, it’s really not a big deal. If someone isn’t ready for this jelly…*shrug* So be it. It’s just part of being Spanish.
– Be yourself. That’s how you want new friends to know you. Goodwill and all.
– See above.
– Um…no. You’ll miss fun moment like this one from the Fitness and Health Bloggers Conference with friends like Anne and Alisa:

Ultimately, I got my head in the right place and stopped worrying about what sort of judgments and comparisons might arise. This community is based on mutual support and a shared mission to help people live healthier, flourishing lives anyway — why would I expect the opposite from anyone? Regardless, even if I did encounter this, I can’t control how people perceive me; I can only be myself.

(Warming my butt over a campfire and drinking coffee out of a Klean Kanteen cap. Ghetto fab.)

And myself is… well, (why lie?) a big doofusA doofus who is going to be weighed down with doughballs, wearing outdated (ahem) “vintage” clothes that are wrinkled from my failed attempt to “roll” pack, snorting freely, and not hiding my hirsute, Mediterranean arms. So. Yep. Another Think This, Not That Real Life snapshot. Be yourself.

Just be sure to wear underwear. (Don’t worry, roomies — I packed clothes in addition to doughballs.)

Do you have to process through Crazies right before an event like this, or am I the only one?

If you’re at the Summit, please say HI! : )

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I’m a writer, new mom and foodie. I love sharing what I know while making others feel beautiful. On this blog, I share my healthy lifestyle, simple meals, fitness tips and experiences.

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Kara Bout It