General

Motherhood can be a Lonely Place – Tell Another Mom

This past weekend I really reflected on why I started this blog and what I wanted out of it. Often I can get discouraged when my ‘big ideas’ don’t turn into success overnight. And then I realized, in just a few weeks time, I’ve reached more mothers with my mission than I could have ever imagined. If I have made just one mom feel like she is not alone out there, than that is a success in itself. Which brings me to why I’m writing today’s post…

Motherhood can be a lonely place.

As I’m writing this, I can tell you that my eyes are glossing up at this very moment. I am writing from my heart and pouring out so much honest reflection in an effort to help just one mother, and I hope that this inspires you to do the same. Those first few weeks after you’ve given birth can be overwhelming with visitors, flowers and gifts. And then, slowly the weeks go on and the phone calls stop, perhaps your partner goes back to work, and there you are… you and your baby… or babies… or small village of kids.

There are so many challenges that we face as mothers, and most of the time we face them alone. If you are lucky enough to have a partner to help you with the demands of parenthood it certainly helps, but realistically there are some things that only mothers can relate to. My husband woke up for every feeding to support me, but while I was breastfeeding (or trying to), all he could do is show his love by being there… he couldn’t relate or tell me he understood the tears that rolled down my cheeks. So many mothers keep their lips sealed about feeling lonely even when they are in a room full of people. If no one can relate to what you are going through, than it doesn’t matter how many people you interact with… you still feel lonely. And even though most moms struggle at some time or another, it seems to be the norm to just be mute about it all.

We often hear about postpartum depression or the ‘baby blues’, but what about after that first year? Sometimes moms can struggle even more as children get older and lives get more hectic.  A reader shared with me her experience of being exhausted and accidentally falling asleep while caring for her young sick children. She described feeling a tremendous amount of guilt, probably because she thought she was the only mom who had ever done this.. I can guarantee you that  these things happen to mother’s every day, we just don’t talk about it. As a society, it has become our instinctive reaction to judge one another. If we could just share our moments of weakness, it would make it feel like no matter where we turned, we were not alone.

Every now and again I hear a mother jokingly say, ‘Been there, done that.’ Hallelujah. I’m not the only one who’s child has put a foreign object in his ear. I’m not alone in my battle to get my kids to pick up their toys. I’m not the first mother who’s fallen asleep caring for sick kids. I don’t have the only kid with a silver tooth. I’m not the first mom to have a kid with a broken bone.  I’m not the only one who forgets lunch boxes and backpacks. I’m not the only one who is exhausted most of the time. I’m not the only mom who feels like she probably won’t win ‘mother of the year’. (I wonder who actually wins that prize? I bet she doesn’t read my blog)

So if you go to your weekly mommy groups and meet up for playdates, and still feel alone… know that you’re not. As mother’s we’ve become dishonest somewhere along the line, not about everything, but mostly about motherhood. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to make mistakes. What I think is not okay, is that we’ve forgotten that as mothers we all have something in common. We all struggle now and again, and it’s important that we offer one another support. We need to embrace each other and be honest so that we can start to feel like no matter where we go, we are not alone. Motherhood can be a lonely place… but we can change that. Tell another mom that you’ve been there… that you’ve cried too… that being a mom is hard work. But most importantly… tell another mom that she’s not alone.

AboutKara

I’m a writer, new mom and foodie. I love sharing what I know while making others feel beautiful. On this blog, I share my healthy lifestyle, simple meals, fitness tips and experiences.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Kara Bout It