confident woman
Personal Development

How to Make Positive Changes in Your and Your Child’s Life

Changing your life is one of the easiest, simplest and no-brainer activities that anyone regardless of age, intelligence and maturity can engage in. In fact research has shown that even rats and monkeys can learn to move a cursor on a video screen, play video games and manipulate robotic arms all with their thoughts and imaginings. I know what this looks like as you read it — stupid, nonsense and easily disregarded. But what if it were not only true but replicatable, documented and as accepted scientific faact? Brace yourself—it is.

That being said, if we can teach rats and monkeys to do things that most of us don’t believe could be taught, what might be possible in the realm of teaching our children and ourselves things that are beyond the reach of what we believe to be possible?

Changing a life does not require any special skill

Changing a life is something that does not even require intention or any special skill or knowledge. In fact as you are reading this you are “changing your brain” and thus changing your life. It is a fact. Your thoughts change your brain and your brain affects your thoughts and behaviors. Your brain does not control you, in fact you control your brain, if you don’t so choose.

Simply said, every thought you have changes the structure of your brain. Granted, There are critical periods where these changes occur with greater ease, such as early childhood for example. And as we age, this process slows down a bit, but never really stops until maybe your last breath. It might be said, that for every thought there is a corresponding neural circuit that is triggered or stimulated. If it agrees with the current tracks in your brain, the effect is “sameness or rigidity” which only enhances the current neural pathways making them even stronger — or changed to make them stronger and more rigid, but changed nonetheless). If the new thought is different from the current pathway, a new branch or synapse sprouts. Either way, nothing remains the same as it was and “life is changed”.

So you see, you cannot ‘not change’ your life at any and every moment—and the same is true for your child. If you want the same behavior to continue or engrained even more strongly in your child, merely reinforce that through your reactions and responses.

Bishop TD Jakes says “if you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you always got”. And we all know the famous proverb, “As you sow, so shall you reap”. This is not so much philosophy or religion but in fact the way life is. You get to decide which direction, and that is the exciting part! This is not someone doing it to us, it is we doing it to us! (“We have met the enemy and he is us” — Pogo)

Read also: How to Make Friends With Your Anger

Change our perspective on a negative situation

When things are going well, most people feel good, and when things are going badly, they feel bad. One of the best indicators of a person’s ability to succeed is their ability to alter perspectives in difficult situations. Consider your perspective as an attitude or mindset in life. You will have a negative outlook on life if you have a bad attitude. The point isn’t whether your perspective is supported by past events or not.

You must alter your emotional and mental inputs in order to alter your perspective. Look for positive influences in the form of books, blogs, and spiritual leaders. Don’t simply rely on news sources that focus on the bad things that are happening in the world. We have no influence over what others do. We can, however, better control our own expectations.

You haven’t set somebody up for the best possible outcome if you expect someone who has shown himself or herself to be unreliable to follow through on something. Rather than looking for a negative outcome or imperfection, look for something positive that might benefit or contribute to your life, rather than diminishing a part of it. You may produce happiness by shifting your focus to finding it.

Read also: Break the Cycle of Self Doubt With These Tips

Can literature change your life?

Reading books is one of the most effective ways to combat feelings of loneliness, unfulfillment, or dissatisfaction. To be explicit, I’m talking about reading books, not Facebook post, internet articles (ironically), or newspapers. Reading literature diverts our attention away from other activities that make us anxious and despair. The most important is social media, which is where people’s confidence and attention spans die. Reading not only keeps our attention spans but also helps us avoid the dreadful FOMO and unending comparison to others that social media delivers.

Reading not only improves your attention span, but it also stimulates you intellectually and creatively—stimulation that many individuals lack in today’s education system. Reading isn’t good for you because it’s good for you. It’s worth reading because it’s good. Isn’t it delicious to suck the luscious juice from a novel? Reading not only makes us feel better, but it also makes us feel better. We feel less alone when we read books.

Read also: How Do You Know When You’re Ready?

Can confidence change your life?

Learning to be self-assured is beneficial in all aspects of life, but there are moments when it is especially critical – especially when you feel like giving up. Confident people have no doubts about their abilities to complete a task.
This is due to the fact that they are well aware of their capabilities. They are confident in their ability to succeed because they possess the correct mix of information, skills, and abilities.

Being confident is non-negotiable if you are a leader in a position that requires you to be convincing and trustworthy.
No one wants to follow a leader who appears insecure. Lack of confidence can have a significant impact on your ability to assemble a winning team and lead them to achieve your common objectives.

When you believe in yourself, it shows up in your attitude and manner. And that is something that people appreciate.
You’ll make a better first impression since you’ll appear more capable, and people will feel safe in your company. Instead of coasting by, you’ll take chances and dangers. Because you know you can achieve anything you set your mind to, you’ll live life on the edge.

When you are self-assured, you will cease blaming others for your problems. You learn to be in charge of your own life and the decisions you make. It’s up to you to make changes if something isn’t working. You realize that so much of your happiness is determined by the decisions you make and the sacrifices you are prepared to make in order to live the life you choose.

Read also: Eleven Things You Need to Do to Remain Motivated

Can loving yourself change your life?

I honestly feel that showing gratitude and self-love are the foundations of happiness. Self-love is necessary for living your finest, most ideal life. Start with self-love if you want to change yourself and the world around you. Self-love is a magical thing. Nothing will be able to stop you as you move into your grandeur.

I understood I’d always had a choice. I could make poor decisions based on fear, guilt, or shame, or I could make powerful decisions based on who I was and what felt real to me. So I stopped trying to satisfy others, putting up with men who were unworthy of my time, and doing activities that didn’t bring me joy or satisfaction.

You give yourself an opportunity to open yourself to the world when you love yourself. You discover a talent or skill you never knew you possessed. You are willing to try new things. You are the key to unlocking potential. You become interested with others while also connecting with your inner self. You discover that there are others out there who are fighting to achieve that highly wanted self-love.

When you start loving yourself more, you’ll recognize how significant your wants and needs are, and you may choose to honor them. Surprisingly, making friends with strangers is one of the finest methods to practice loving yourself. So, you’re not required to become best buddies or anything. But! When you strike up a conversation with a stranger and exhibit genuine curiosity, it can boost your happiness levels.

Read also: Simple Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

Change to a positive mindset

Whatever the situation, one thing you can always do is take charge and adjust your perspective. As we know that changing your perspective can sometimes help you get back on your feet. When things go wrong, it can feel as if a shroud of gloom has descended upon us. We can’t seem to see our way through the cloth to let the fresh air in, no matter how hard we try.

Rejection wreaks havoc on our egos and makes us feel uneasy. Rejected relationships, job applications, and friendships. You must not allow these negative circumstances to overpower you, no matter how painful they are. Rejections should be viewed as a challenge: study the circumstance, try to understand why it happened, and figure out how to improve so that it doesn’t happen again.

It’s also a good idea to talk with others about how the issue can be resolved. Some people are born with the ability to think positively and look for the positive in every situation. These are the types of people who can assist you in re-framing your situation in a good and constructive manner. Alternatively, seek out expert coaches or therapists who can assist you in breaking free from mental patterns that aren’t serving you.

So, how do you change your life?

Think. Think either the same thoughts or different thoughts. Your brain doesn’t care. You on the other hand may care deeply whether your life becomes more rigid and the “same”, or more flexible and different.

So think, dear parents, think carefully and deeply about what you want, who you want to be and where you want to go. Be mindful of what those careless images and thoughts that run through your mind, and the input you take in from books, movies, television and others. They are changing you, like it or not along with your children. Of course, this applies even more so for your children as they are likely in those critical periods where plasticity runs at a much quicker pace. And this is where we parents come in. Not so much to “teach” them, but to help them bring out the best their “selves” — and this may not be what “we” want for them.

So lets find out who are children are. Who they want to be. What they want to do. And as we connect with them in the true spirit of education (Latin meaning to draw forth or led out). In effect, this is what facilitates learning and long term memory by removing the stressors which can inhibit the learning process.  Remember that “stress causes confused and distorted thinking and short-term memory loss”.


I’m a writer, new mom and foodie. I love sharing what I know while making others feel beautiful. On this blog, I share my healthy lifestyle, simple meals, fitness tips and experiences.

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Kara Bout It