My 6 Week Keto Journey: Weeks 2-4

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For those of you who have patiently awaited this long over due blog post, thank you. Thank you for your patients and kindness towards me. The past 2 weeks for me have been hell and I really needed some space. So let me cut to the freaking chase here; I'm not continuing this keto journey blog series. This will be the last post about it. However, it's really important to me that I share the reasons why I'm discontinuing because I'm NOT the type of person to just quit something! There are larger than life things going on that keto can not fix and I feel all of you deserve to know.

1. Counting macros was triggering for me

Triggering? Triggering for what? I can just hear it now. So in a couple other posts I've kind of just slipped in some comments about me having disordered eating habits. I've never talked much about it. I've never admitted to having an eating disorder. But these past couple of weeks, I hit rock bottom. I won't go into full on details. But hitting rock bottom meant taking a good, HARD look at my eating habits. Let me tell ya, shit got real. I didn't want to admit it, but I have had an eating disorder for over 3 years now. I binge and purge. It's now developed into something that needs to be immediately addressed, as it's absolutely exhausting to continue with. So what happened with the macros? My macro goals made me obsessed. I counted every bite that entered my mouth, every drink and table spoon of cooking oil. Then one day I'd eaten all of my macros for the day, but I was STARVING. So I binged. I ate pretty much a whole jar of almond butter, felt like shit about myself and took action to reverse what I had done. Since then, I've fallen off the rail big time. So I won't be counting anymore, that's for sure!

2. Restricting foods I loved was triggering

You get it, just about everything was triggering. But not being able to eat all the kale I wanted, a sweet potato or even a tomato made me insane. I'm a veggie FREAK! I love all the veg!!! Having to restrict my carbs so heavily made me straight up depressed.

3. Keto wasn't going to fix my broken mentality

No amount of fat in the world could fix the hatred I held for myself. Sounds dark, but it's true. For years I have been so fixated on food, that I lost myself. I became wrapped up in finding the perfect diet and bouncing from one extreme to the other. While this can be great, I took it too far. I developed some of the worse self talk I've ever had in my life and to be quite honest, it has led to a deep depression. This is something food can't fix. I'm now dedicating a large chunk of my time to dissolving this negative self talk and filling my life with joy, hope, gratitude and love. It's about time :)

4. My Immune System Crashed

Another reason I was so MIA was because I got super sick!! Out of nowhere I ran fever, had a major sinus infection, couldn't breathe or even function. This happens every year when I've completely burnt out. Luckily, it only lasted a week and I'm back to normal. But a good indication to take a step back is if you start getting sick.

So what am I doing now? Am I still keto?

For the most part, I'm still keto. I am now subscribing to a form of keto where I consume carb ups at night to help regulate stress and hormones. I know this is controversial, but it's WORKING. I can no longer tolerate restriction in my life. Restriction stems from fear and eats away away at your very core until you fall apart. So now I'm focusing on self love and not obsessing over food.

I eat primarily fat and protein but with no restrictions on veggies! I find I do best with no sugar, but occasional fruit as a carb up has been amazing. As for exercise, I quit Orange Theory Fitness because the workouts left my adrenals exhausted. I'll be focusing of loving movements weather that's yoga, walking, lifting or whatever my body needs from me!

Also, I'm ready to put in a lot of energy to this blog. I want to turn this site into an amazing nutritional resource for y'all! So if you have any suggestions or ideas on what you want to see just comment below :)

Thank you all for being so understanding. I love each and everyone of you!