7 Things Not To Do When You Feel Unappreciated
Personal Development

7 Things Not To Do When You Feel Unappreciated

One of the things I love the most as a blogger is when my email pings letting me know I have a new comment. That small inner voice starts shouting, “Someone loves me!” Now don’t get me wrong I know people love me but as a blogger there are days when you just don’t feel the love as much as you would like. Maybe page views are low, subscriber sign ups are at a stand still and it doesn’t matter what you do you can’t break that 200 mark on your Facebook page. On those days any kind of validation that as a blogger I kick arse is greatly appreciated.

One of the worst feelings is feeling unappreciated, which seldom occurs as a result of being in the presence of unknown people. It’s a sensation that comes from being with people you know, whether they’re family or coworkers. No I’m not always so shallow but hey, I am a female and I like to feel appreciated. Which brings me to today’s post on what not to do when you feel unappreciated.

7 Things Not To Do When You Feel Unappreciated

1.) Don’t act like you are an indentured servant to your family and friends.

Especially don’t go all out and don servant clothes from the 1800s. That look is not attractive on anyone, even if you do have the perfect body.

2.) Don’t stop doing everything you do everyday.

Seriously don’t! Because while it feels good to say forget it and to not do anything for anyone, including you know, cooking dinner, picking up after the children, waking them up for school, washing your husbands boxers and such, in the end it’s only going to harm you.

How? Well if you don’t wake the kids for school they stay home and bug you all day about how bored they are and that there is nothing to do. If you don’t cook for their unappreciative self’s they don’t decide to praise you for the times you did cook by saying, “Oh mom it’s awesome that you cook for us”, instead they just whine all the more. And the boxers….have you seen (aka smelled) what happens when a man wears boxers (or any underpants)?

Can you imagine days of him wearing the same ones because others aren’t clean? It isn’t pretty and in the end you will have to force them into the washer because they no longer fold. *shutter*

Read also: Is it Possible to Beat Depression for Good?

3.) Don’t walk around tearing your hair out

Or ripping your clothes and wailing that no one loves you, cares for you or that you’re being unappreciated at loud volumes. You will only end up scaring animals,small children and may cause the nice people with the new white coat and shiny buckles to visit.

4.)Don’t start sending yourself flowers, thank you/love you notes.

While good in theory, because who doesn’t like to get flowers and a card, it will raise eyebrows with your co-workers, partner and family if you start randomly receiving notes from a secret admirer.

5.) Don’t leave post it notes

Don’t leave post it notes around the office or the home with sayings like “Felicia (your name not mine duh) filled the ink, again.”, “Boxers cleaned by your wife”, “Meal cooked while mom was slaving over the stove”, or “The floors didn’t shine themselves!~ Felicia”. Why not you ask? Easy, they won’t get read, you will have to pick them all up at the end of the day or in the worst case scenario you immature work mate will somehow manage to take each note and turn into a horrible sexual innuendo.

6.)Don’t always accept its your fault

Don’t email your mother in law with a 3 page list of exactly why it is her fault her son is a complete loser. Also make sure not to criticize her cooking in any way. The last thing you want is a war of epic proportions with your mother in law while you aren’t at the top of your game. You will never win!

7.) Don’t wrap yourself in Saran Wrap

I don’t care if it was done on Fried Green Tomatoes, just don’t do it. It won’t make you feel any less unappreciated in fact it may make the feeling worse as your partner walks away snorting and gasping for breath through tears of laughter.

There you have it, seven great things not to do, under any circumstances, when you are feeling unappreciated by those in your life. I truly hope this saves some of you from disastrous mistakes as you set your sights on making your family and friends realize just how totally awesome you really are.

Read also: 7 Tips To Deal With Difficult People At Work

So, how can you brag about your efforts without bragging about your accomplishments? When you’re feeling underappreciated, who should you talk to? And how long should you stay if the problem does not improve?

Validate yourself first

While it’s good to be recognized and acknowledged for your work, you can’t expect honors, plaudits, and public thanks to provide all of your motivation. Intrinsic motivators are far more potent than external motivators. You must make an effort to find significance in your employment. Make an effort to give yourself a pat on the back on a regular basis. At the conclusion of each week, set aside some time to reflect on what went well and what didn’t.

Appreciation is not only by words

Just because someone doesn’t express gratitude doesn’t mean they don’t value your efforts. Not everyone expresses their gratitude with words. Your partner pulling you into a hug or a teenager giving you a big high five could be her way of saying thank you. They can also express their gratitude if a coworker takes you out to lunch or if a friend insists on paying for your coffee. So think about different ways individuals show their gratitude to you for a moment. You might discover that they appreciate you more than you give them credit for.

You maybe taking loved ones for granted

People will eventually cease investing their energy and time in you if they do not feel valued. You should occasionally take a break from your own whirlpool of thoughts and focus on the person you care about, genuinely seeing them. A simple “Thank you!” or “I love you!” can make a huge difference. Even though it requires a lot of effort on your part, conquering oneself is the secret of long-term happy couples.

Keep an open mind

Things don’t always turn out the way we expect them to. Our best-laid intentions don’t always work out. Even if you’re disappointed, make sure you can find delight in the things around you. For mothers, this is especially true. Show children that good can be found in any scenario by having small eyes following our every move and listening our every word.

Keep emotions under control

Our brain often reacts strongly when we feel undervalued. We normally respond by first defensive and then assaulting.
In other circumstances, we may get so depressed that we withdraw. In fact, a research found that rejection and disdain are more likely to lead to violence in teens than drugs, poverty, or bad company.

When we feel rejected, we have more inclination to lash out, either at others or at ourselves. We lose power to the individual who has betrayed us when we react in this way. As a result, it’s critical that we recognize our initial reaction and pause to ask ourselves, “What am I feeling?” Understanding an emotion and labeling it will allow us to manage it better without losing control.


I’m a writer, new mom and foodie. I love sharing what I know while making others feel beautiful. On this blog, I share my healthy lifestyle, simple meals, fitness tips and experiences.

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Kara Bout It