What can you do to feel more in control? How do you take back control of your lives?
What are the techniques to gradually regain control?
Improve your well-being and mental health by following these tips!
There are times when our pace of life can accelerate to the point where we feel like we can’t keep up. Worry, stress, lack of time, fatigue, a spiral of anxiety can envelop us and freeze us. We feel we are losing control of our lives. We wonder if the problem is us or if the world is turning its back on us.
It’s time to take back control of our lives to regain our energy, emotional and physical balance, and our ability to think clearly.
Having too much control leads you to bad decisions, and avoidance completely. But I do feel that there are benefits to feeling a little more in control of your life.
When things do get tough, reigning back control over your life can give much relief in our busy world.
1. Plan plan plan
Keeping a plan is one sure-fire way to reign back control over your life. If you don’t have a diary/planner as yet, now would be a good time.
It’s funny really. I used to be so unorganized! I never really understood the need for a planner. But then everything changed for me. So every since my life-changing moment at work, I now cannot live without one.
You see, I’m SO forgetful! I cannot go a day without it. I feel lost! For me, it meant more control and less stress when obstacles got thrown my way.
This may work for you.
2. Appreciate those around you
Sometimes, just sitting there and appreciating the things around us can have a glorious effect. I know it does for me! When all of my thoughts are swimming around my brain, taking a step back can really help. For those with anxiety, depression, or another mental health issue, this can be a good technique.
It’s a little bit like simplifying, but your brain! Plus, on a smaller scale for sure. So the next time you feel a little bit overwhelmed and out of control, take five minutes out. Find a quiet spot (this can be at home, work or in the open).
Just take a few minutes to think about the good things in life right now. Do you have a pet you adore? Are you thankful for your family and their support?
Do you have a wonderful partner that is always there for you?
Do it right now if it helps!
After a few minutes, the bad stuff won’t feel so bad. It’ll help you get things into perspective.
3. Ask for help
I know that the last thing I ever want to do is ask for help. But this can also lead to the destruction of oneself at the same time. You see, by keeping things to yourself, it can be harder coping with them. Again, I know all too well!
Opening up can help you process your thoughts and get an outsider point of view on your problems. You might think that this is absurd right now, but you don’t have to let them know everything.
The good thing about asking for help is that you can divulge as much or as little you want. This might feel like a relief knowing this. I know it does for me.
So the next time you’re feeling out of control, take a few minutes to talk to someone. Anyone! You’ll feel better for it
4. Sort out your schedule
Although this feels a little like number 1, I have a different light for you!
Schedule some time out for yourself. Also, schedule time out in blocks too. By doing so, not only are you helping out your brain, you aren’t letting it get the better of you. Sometimes out brains are the most annoying things ever! Trust me, I know!
Okay. What I want you to do now is block out some time out. Think about where you have free time. Is it in the evenings or morning? Maybe on your lunch break?
Make a conscious effort now to block that time away to do something you want to do. Do you want to look at your own personal development?
Do you want to spend time just reading your favorite book?
Do it! The great thing about this is that at times of high stress, being organized can make a difference.
Read also: 11 Ways to Make Waking Up Easier
5. Ask the right questions
This reflection is interesting in order to avoid any guilt or resentment towards ourselves and/or those around us and to allow us to take back control of our life, by giving meaning to it, with respect to ourselves and the world around us.
To better understand what causes this feeling of losing control of your life, it is beneficial to take a moment to analyze each situation.
Feeling like people are pulling away from us? What is going on? What has happened in our life?
It is to take a step back, with lucidity, on each situation to analyze, if consciously or unconsciously, we did not create this situation ourselves, according to our experience, our personality, our environment, or if our entourage did not bring us consciously or unconsciously to create this feeling experienced as negative, not by egoism, but by :
- feeling of powerlessness
- the fears that our situation has sent back to them
- and/or simply does not know how to accompany you, by listening and being present
It is salutary to make the part of the things, with lucidity and to understand the more or less important percentage that can have “the others” on what arrives to us at this moment.
Very often, it turns out that the problem is not the others and it is so much better because it is easier to act on ourselves than on the others to start again from good feet.
6. Learn to trust
Have you ever felt a sense of resistance when meeting someone? It may be interesting to ask yourself why exactly you feel this way. Reluctance to trust may have its roots in childhood, for example in a parent who disappointed you or made you think that adults could not be trusted.
Unless you are aware of these past issues and have begun to work on healing them, you are likely to project these feelings onto the people you meet, thus not allowing relationships to flourish. If you accept this fear of being hurt and know that you will be able to recover, you will find it easier to offer your trust.
Read also: 5 Supplements That Help Fight Depression
7. Celebrate the little wins
When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back?
Can’t remember? Then it’s been too long!
Reward yourself the next time you do something amazing. For me, I hate going into supermarkets. I want to be in and it as quickly as possible. So what I do is give myself a virtual pat on the back!
I made it. You did something amazing. You should be proud of yourself. If you want, write it down too. This might be good if you struggle to express this kind of positivity about yourself.
It’ll help you process your thoughts and feelings too. It’s actually quite therapeutic!
8. Start a journal
Okay, so we’re half way through now! Hopefully, you’ve considered some of the points so far. For me, journals are wonderful things. Whoever named and first thought of them, I salute you!
Journals are really great to help you make sense of the thoughts and feelings swimming around in your head. Trying to explain such thoughts to a real person is scary and sometimes impossible. When you don’t even understand your own thoughts, how will someone else?
So writing it down allows you to process your thoughts, get it down on paper, and scribble all over it. I find that when I’m getting a bit too worked up over things, this really helps. Being out of control for me is connected with this.
If you want, buy a notebook just for your thoughts. You can hide it so no one knows where it is. After all, the last thing you want is for some to read it!
9. Embrace the scary
So my therapist has told me that I’m going to have to face my fears sometimes. But that we’re going to do it in controlled, planned instances. I thought this was fantastic!
Rather than facing my fears, I run away from them. It’s easily done, isn’t it?
But I realized that this isn’t healthy. No siree!
Hiding away from the things that scare you means you’re less likely to want to do it again. That can result in a bad coping mechanism that will get worse over time. Break that mould right now. Although it’s terrifying, it’ll help you out in the long run.
You see, getting back control of your life isn’t an overnight thing. It takes time and you have to be patient. So if you fear taking a trip to a supermarket and get sweaty just thinking about them, take small steps.
Visit when it’s not busy, like in the morning or in the evening.
Each time you go, try and spend a few minutes more each time.
The more you do it, the easier it will become (over time).
10. Learn to say No
Often we think we just can’t say no. But are you really realistic about what you can offer? This is especially true in your workplace, where it’s easy to fall into “people-pleasing” mode rather than honestly weighing in on their feelings of overwhelm.
Saying an honest “no” may seem stressful at the time, but it’s nothing compared to the anxiety of missing a deadline or, even worse, missing a meeting or not getting the job done because you were paralyzed by stress.
11. Listen to some podcasts
Podcasts are great at times when you need inspiration.
They’re so good, The Telegraph has written an article all about them here!
There’s something nice about listening to someone else’s voice. If you feel like you have no control over your life right now, try searching and downloading some for calmness.
Here are some to get you started:
Stress can be difficult managing on your own. Podcasts are great for bringing back focus to your life. They can help you calm down and control stress. Not only this but listening to such things can be really therapeutic. Give them a try!
12. Watch some Ted Talks
Another great tip for when you’re feeling out of control is watching Ted Talks videos. Personally, I think they’re great. They are motivating, inspiring and make you believe in yourself again.
At times of high stress, I turn to Ted Talks and just listen. Spending time this way is calming and inspiring at the same time. They show you that you can achieve more, even if you don’t believe it.
Here are some to help and inspire you:
Playlist (20 talks): The most popular talks of all time
Jacqueline Novogratz: Inspiring a life of immersion | TED Talk | TED.com
20 Most Inspiring TED Talks Of All Time You Should Not Miss – Lifehack
28 of the Best Motivational TED Talk Videos to Inspire You – HubSpot
15 TED Talks That Will Change Your Life – Mashable
13. Be physically active
Physical movement, along with proper rest and nutrition, allows the body and mind to regain lost balance, giving us more motivation, strength and endurance. If you spend a lot of time sitting during the day, remember to take short breaks to get up, stretch and take a few steps.
14. Get rid of the waste
Finally, sometimes it’s good to take out the trash!
Not literally, but figuratively. You know all that wasted time you spend doing things that don’t really matter?
That’s what I’m talking about. Things like wasting hours away procrastinating. It’s not helpful and it’s not useful.
You can beat!
You see, spending time doing the things that aren’t productive, aren’t useful to you. Taking back the reigns of your procrastination will aid you in your journey to more control. Think about the things that waste your time. Learn to say no a bit more often, too.
By doing such things, you’ll feel more in control and will keep daily stress at bay.